so, its obviously been a good while since I have written....

you may thank my wedding for taking up every second of every minute of every day, and therefore not allowing me to write to all of you, my lovely, missed, European companions.

it is now 3 weeks and one day until the wedding. I can't believe it--time has passed so quickly. I have only just turned 20, and now I'm getting married!!! It seems a bit much to handle.

I never thought planning a wedding would be this stressful. NEVER. But I suppose I know now, don't I? At least if I survive long enough to be able to use what I've learned. There are days now when I wake up and its all I can do to keep from a)strangling all of my family members, as well as Jared's; b) laughing hysterically until i slip into the realm of permanent insanity; c) slamming myself into things just to release at least some of the tension built up inside me, or d) all of the above at the same time.

I will be glad when its finally over, to say the very least. I will be relaxed for the first time in about ten months, and on my way to the Bahamas!!! Praise the Lord. I can lay on the beach (with my husband!), read a good book, relax, and get a wicked good tan all at the same time. I keep telling myself that until then, I just need to chill, work on calm breathing, do some yoga, etc etc. But really I just need to pray. A LOT.

I am very excited about being married. I know that this is what the Lord has ordained for me, and that in and through this marriage He will be most glorified in me and I will be most satisfied in Him. I know that statement is rather John Piper-ish, but its true. I really am excited about what the Lord can and will accomplish through Jared and I as husband and wife. Christ and His Bride for the world....I hope. Only with the Lord's help.

I have such a passion, such a longing, for people. I have been to both Europe and Latin America, and in both situations my heart has burned with a holy fire and desire for the people there. I yearn to take the Gospel...well, just to take it. Not anywhere specific. I feel that through this marriage, the pursuit of that goal is a step closer. And Praise the Lord for that!!!!

I have struggled recently with the thought that as a human--corrupt and inadequate--I will screw this marriage up. That something will go terribly wrong, and it just won't be like I imagined, or hoped. But I am also comforted by the Word, which tells me that "all things work together for good, for those who love God." Praise God for that! Yes, I am human, and I do and will make mistakes...but the Lord has His own plans for me, and for us (Jared and I). I trust Him, because He is the Lord. Even in all my imperfection I cannot even begin to destroy or alter those plans in any way. This gives me more peace than I know how to express.

To Him be the glory, in all things.